[you doorknob]

What would happen if three components that make you up get desynchronized? Yeah, that's basically my Valentines Day.

I've looked forward to yesterday. Aylliaylli was going wai wai~, cirecire was about to gain the reward for all his hard work. Or rather, that was the plan.

...but. There's one other factor. Aylliaylli is classified as my mind - if you haven't noticed it yet. It's the one that makes me think and think logically, the very reason I have this blog too. Cirecire is my heart and soul. It's the one that really defines who I am, and with my mind, who I want to be. And he's an idiot too.

But. There's the third one. Nah, no name to call it, it doesn't need to be personified - and that's an irony at the same time. My body. Yeah. The third concept - the body, it acts as my physical avatar in this world. It's how I look, it defines how I can do things. In an rpg - it defines my stats such as strength and dexterity.

And so, according to this post, I am me because of three things. My mind, my soul, and my body. Ideally, the concept here is that my mind and soul kinda intertwine after dying, so they really determine who I am. But. What is my body then?

Yeah. I've (not totally) forgotten about it. My body just acts as it is. Aylliaylli in the first place accepted the turn down, and encouraged cirecire to soon acknowledge it too. But. I guess, I've never did anything for my body. It continues to hurt, to cry out. It wants to release stress.

But I haven't, can't play DotA. But I can't cry my heart out since all the songs I have sounds so out of place. And no, I don't want to punch something/someone, it isn't me. My heart and body both agreed that I should stop crying, so my body barely cries nowadays too.

And so, yesterday. I guess it finally kicked in. You know, I got desynchronized. I was telling my body to do this, but it didn't. I want to do that, but it didn't. What the hell.

So. The most embadassing plan I've ever deduced. All went in shambles.

...but I've found a way to resynchronize it. Well, Valentines may be over. I may not be able to do what I wanted to do. ...I may not have experienced the fun I wanted to experience. But, at least. The following days, weeks, months. I may be able to keep it synchronized. I can experience how I really wanna live my life best.

Yeah. I've always got the courage. My mind backs up my heart. Now it's all up to the last component - my body.

Synchronizing is such a bother. But. I'll live the next months to who I want to be. Just, synch synch! ...bleh. I suppose I'll eat this chocolate by myself... ;__;

Fully alive
More than most
Ready to smile and love life
Fully alive and she(i) knows
How to believe in futures