P14D:R - White Day
In the book of cirecire, Guide to Catch Heroines, Chapter 9 - Mid-Winter, today [yesterday] is the final flag to attain the heroine of choice. Using February 14 as an opener by the use of home made choco made with a lot of heart, and closing the day with a "I'll wait for you till March 14", it all sets up the stage for the ending route. Of course, in between these two days lies a long path which should be heavily decisive too, (DOH)!
Oh, who am I kidding! Well, that was kinda something like a plan. Bleh~
Yet another White Day passed by without anything special. But that's to be expected, we don't actually celebrate it. Haha, so pretty much I'm the only one who regard this day special.
It was supposed to be special this year around. I tried to gather up my Highschool friends for our first ever meet-up this year, but until the final notice (as expected from ct!), it all got broken apart. gg
The plan was this: A change of pace. In regard to the whole friendship post thing and the fact that we haven't seen each other for months, we decided to bond more as friends than just doing the ordinary thing we do in the past - that is, playing and playing and playing. So this time I/we've thought of: Trinoma then Redbox! Well, it's more of a _my_ plan, and some really wanted to go (especially me). Sadly, it didn't happen. And I thought I was gonna spend SAD#2 with my other SADmates xd
Instead, I got around and did a lot of things. I played DotA. I studied a bit of Java. I played DoWII. And slacked and got lazy~ And played Kanon. And played Saya no Uta. gg, review later :3
Yesterday was also a supposed deadline. For what? Project 14 Days: Reconciliation. Two objectives:
- To finish 14 'projects' or works in commemoration to reviving my old skills <3
- ...to really take the past, burn it up and let it go (though not that harsh!)
Obviously, the first objective flopped. I'm still lazy! Ah well, I guess I'll get around it sooner or later.
The second objective, what is it really? Concisely, it's something obvious for the past month. Despite saying I'll be back to January, come March, I'm still on February, if you know what I mean. ...well, at least until today!
A month has already passed by. And by month, literally. 28 + 2 days, and also literally one 'month', lol. But yeah, in retrospect, I've said I'd forget about Gwenie. That I'd live normally. And stuff! Saying that, and looking back, nah.
As an example which I cited to Alvy when I talked to him the other day, simply, this: when I saw Gwenie appearing out of the stairs, I averted my eyes away from her. Not to smug or be ignorant, but it feels like a reflex. Like, because of, y'know, that thing that happened. But when nana came out of the stairs, with a bright smile I waved at her and greeted her.
Well, that kind of thing. There are many many examples to cite, but I guess that really fits the bill. So?
Without any more lies, facing the mirror as I say this. Contemplating and reflecting over and over for the last few days - I tried to slept early only to reflect a bit about it before actually sleeping. P14D:R wouldn't be true if I didn't reconcile with myself so.
cirecire.push(aylliaylli.pop("Gwenie as heroine"));
aylliaylli.push("Gwenie as friend");
Basically, as aylliaylli, I have to be a friend. I need to stop seeing her as the girl who First Blood'd me. Haha xd! But of course, keep in heart deep in me that... she's the girl who First Blood'd me? Yeah!
So so. Can I really say it? I'm free? That I won't have these weird awkward moments when I see her?
Yes!
Deep in me, yeah. I've waited for this day to come, that's probably why I released everything out prior to this day (or yesterday). Though, Karaoke would've amplified it more, and sharing it with ctmates too. But, nah, I'm fine already! My mind is clear and my resolute is firm, gg no re!
Well, I do hope she feels and does the same too. Regardless, even if it's a one-sided thing, then I'll push her back to the way before if she's stuck! xd
Lyrics quote again to end the post? Why not!
But there's still tomorrow
Forget the sorrow
...
And we sing
Sing without a reason
