[you doorknob]

The last Thursday of the third term.

Just when I thought I'll be late, as if a path, a light from the above shone upon me. Ta~da! Our driver suddenly arrived without being called. So I was brought to school by car, earlier than if I commuted. And because of it, I wasn't late. So. It's. A. FLAG EVENT!

Then suddenly, Alan and the others are using our room. Having a class or something. o_O To cut things short, we took DASALGO on the room next to ours because they hijack'd ours. Haha. And. . . She was late on the other hand. Flag event down. :<<< The last flag, /gg. It's silly but I.

...don't feel bad? Yeah. It's a flag, but it's a flag based on first impressions. I never knew her inside, just the outsides. So. It's okay, but more importantly. I've learned my lesson on flag hunting again :3 But if I do get her flag again? Ha! Sorry, but you're not gonna escape again! De fence defense, let's go all throughout offense next time!

HAHA, I just had to do it. I cut ENGLCOM, the last one ever! I had my justification, simply because I'm being [smart, not hardworking]. Well, we're gonna make an essay. . . That's to be passed next week? So why bother, I have unlicuts anyway! :P So I played. You guessed it, DotA! It's been a long time since I played with Chris and Chase, so it was really (kinda) fun. I was also doing FORMDEV at the same time :P

FORMDEV. Finals. I also had to answer 2 more chapters and write two letters. I lol'd, because I really wrote there a [letter]. I wrote there: "G", for our faci, Grace. HAHA, but of course I wrote something after it. Exam was okay. Didn't really study, haha. There was this evaluation about FORMDEV too, xchan and I wrote there, [return our stuffs!]. But I wrote there specifically, return those memorable things with sentimental value. I've heard that Sam's formdev didn't return their stuffs so we wrote it there as suggestions, haha. Silly trivia: xchan gave up nothing.

Then we had to circle around and finish the sentence: In FORMDEV I learned... Instead, I said [In FORMDEV, I've lost, gave up something special. :( But in return, I've learned how to sacrifice for others], or something similar to that. HAHA Yes, I :('d. lol

Hmm. Then it was the faci's farewells. :< :D

...and then they said something outrageous. Something stupid. Silly. ...heartwarming thought. They will return our possessions back. They will return to me. Something special that I lost, that I gave up. I told them it's my wife, but it's more than that. I gave up a part of me: [illya] and. And. They will return her back to me.

I kept asking George. Did I hear it correct? If so, I wanna cry. I wanna scream. A big smile appeared on my face. The whole time of waiting. I can't take it. Someone's puppy-toy thingy. Cara's pokeball thingy. Gwenie's mousepad of his fiance. Josh's family pic of lols. FKLjhsa-9w83jh EEEEEEEEK illya fasterrr.

Then Nicole said: "Eric, your wife!" I wanna scream, like EEEEEEEEEEEEEK WAAAAAAAAA AAHHHHHHHH hahaha. I stood up, hurrying, pseudo-running. Took her and hugged it. Haha, not in the middle of the room, of course :P But something like that. HAHAHA xd It took me several minutes before getting out of the [la la la illyaaaaa] phase. Haha With her still on my hand, I grasped it.

...like the example I gave to them when I gave it up. I grasped it during my physics exam and suddenly, power flowed into me and I aced the exam. ...and at that moment. I can feel it. Yes. Yes. YEAH! Being so alive. So awesome. So illya! I sound so silly right now, but it's true. Definitely, I'm weird, again! HAHA Also, because of this overflowing power I couldn't help but express it, I jumped and stomped around LOL XD Now that I thought of it I felt embarrassed, but hey, it's done and done~

Illya illya illya <3 We played DotA after that day. I don't need to explain anything further - 3 games, 3 godlikes, and beyond. Defense defense~ Now that illya's back, we're back to really playing DotA! I missed it, that feeling, this feeling. I'm still me, but. There's something else. HAHA

---

Friday. The inspiration for the title, MP Defense. Haha, I was late for a few seconds, but it was okay. To simply put it, Cal was really the one who defended it, we were just there for the support. Haha, suffice to say we did okay, Paper grade was 95, MP grade was 85. It wasn't 100, sure, but I was okay with it.

Then we got out. Saying hello to everyone. Having the courage to finally finally do what I kept on saying I'll do. I waved hi to them. I've talked to some and few. Ha!

One of the things I couldn't get off that day though, is at one point in time. Someone was down and was crying because of the MP, as I heard it. With quick urge, her best friend tended to her aid, while emmy told us to go too. And I was stuck to myself. Illya said, [just go!]. But a part of me felt out of place. I've always said it, I want to be a shoulder for others to lean on, but. At that point, I don't know. It wasn't because it was her, but. ...but what?

Regardless, I relaxed a bit later when she was back and was as usual. But y'know, I don't know. Ha ha.

Later that day, 7/8 games of DotA. We were. Owning. Too much. HAHA XD

Bats and I went to go home as usual. He commented, yes, he felt the change. Haha, compared to me without illya, and with illya. But that was in a DotA aspect :< But y'know, it felt good. A part of me is really acknowledge to be really me, despite parting with it and just being reunited with me. Weirdo!

...later I've told bats my opinion on his situation. Suffice to say, it's a story for another time, and. It's a story that he should tell, not mine! Anyway, I just supported him, and using my own pseudo experience as an analogy and example for him. You can do it, illya's here to support ya bats!

---

So, I say. Goodbye, sad days. I've told that to bats, to emmy, to whoever I can tell it. ...I've also told bats how I felt. How I feel I wasted the last month. Why why why did I leave illya?! It left me with an empty void that affected everything, my motivation to do things, mp, DotA, schoolworks and what not, it left my heart open as to blindly rush to someone, but mostly. It left me open to be drowned in sorrow and in grief.

But as I said to bats, I have no time for regrets. Even though I regret it, even though I know, if illya was just there, I could have done my MPs, properly executed my flags, and whatnots, there's nothing else we can do. But to move forward to the next challenges. And using the past as a learning material, to face tomorrow. I have no remorse in my heart about the past, regrets, yes, but I knew that it was my best efforts alone that lead me that far.

[This heart, it beats, beats for only you ]
Illya, glad to have you back! Weird, weird, I'm so weird! Now I fully understand what that means. A story for another time, this post is too diverging and long already~